Archives for posts with tag: Unexplained infertility


“The odds are in my favour, man” (Don’t break the rules, Catch me if you can)

So at the moment I’m ‘Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise’ – that’s pretty cool. We had such a wonderful positive experience at the frozen embryo transfer yesterday that I have even been feeling quite hopeful. It was so good to have the embryologist say that in her professional opinion it is unlucky that we’ve not succeeded with the IVF yet and that it is very likely that we’ll see success soon. This time, hopefully.

I used to know about statistics. I have an A Level in Maths and an AS Level in Further Maths. My job has a statistical component. But I’ve forgotten much of what I used to know and the stats around this IVF stuff are rather complex.

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I’m feeling totally normal so far, this is awesome (touch wood!), so I thought I’d cast my mind waaaaaaaaaay back and tell you how stories such as ours start.

In order to be allowed to do IVF you need to be diagnosed with some sort of infertility.

Here’s how it worked for us.

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“Offer IVF treatment to women with unexplained infertility who have not conceived after 2 years.” (NICE Guidelines, Assessment and treatment for people with fertility problems)

“Couples who experience problems in conceiving should be seen together because both partners are affected by decisions surrounding investigation and treatment.” (NICE Guidelines, Assessment and treatment for people with fertility problems)

I wrote a bit the other day about how our IVF clinic presents what they do as female-centric and functional, and how the husband and I have absorbed that. I’ve been going to the appointments and so on without the husband for the most part, and this seems to be the norm at our clinic.

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I’ve had depression before. It’s not very nice, I wouldn’t recommend it.

I’m not depressed now. I’m not numb, I can feel my feelings. My mind is clear and I can get on with my day-to-day life.

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So I was watching Big Fat Gypsy Weddings: Life on the run, and one of the travelling women was up the duff. She’d met a guy online, got married twelve weeks later, and got knocked up three weeks after that. Fifteen weeks between being completely single, and conceiving a planned baby in wedlock. Oh and did I say baby? Try babies – its twins.

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On 27th March we found out that our first attempt at IVF had not worked and three weeks later the clinic wrote to us and offered us an appointment with a Consultant to discuss our treatment options. Well our appointment finally came around today, two months after the negative pregnancy test and almost a week after we started our second cycle of IVF treatment. I must admit the husband and I found this quite unsatisfactory, as we had no clear answers about why the first go had not worked or what our chances of success were based on the progress to date, and we felt a bit abandoned by the system.

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I don’t wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all…. (Abba)

The issue of what you tell people about IVF, and when, is a strange one.

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Today you have a wee piece from the husband again, on how he feels now that the chosen one is safely within me.

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My husband and I always thought we’d have a baby together, but after well over three years of trying we have not had any success. We are now going to try IVF, and I thought it might be therapeutic for me to write a little blog about it. I also thought some people might be interested to find out more about the process and what goes on.

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I hate being all wanky and talking about journeys, but our journey started around three years ago when we decided we were grown up enough to have a baby.  Move forward two years and no baby, so we had all the tests and got referred to the specialists.  No real conclusion, which is a good thing so they say.  Move forward another year and still no baby.  So here we are today at the fertility clinic at the ERI to talk to our consultant about IVF.

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