Archives for posts with tag: The husband’s view


A bit from the husband…

This pregnancy lark has definitely proved harder than expected. When we embarked on IVF 16 months ago, we were rather under the impression that IVF would be the difficult part. I saw pregnancy as an objective rather than the next challenge. Oh how naïve I was! Read the rest of this entry »


A bit from the husband today:

The First Kick

On a few occasions I have tried to feel the baby moving, but nothing. At the start of the month I went to the USA for a week for work, and the night I got back I tried again. This time I felt him! It’s really weird – a bit like having my hand on the duvet when the cat got under it! A funny wriggly feeling in a place that nothing should be moving. It’s also lovely. It’s not quite an “almost in tears” moment like the fluttering heart on the first ultrasound, but it’s pretty darned exciting. I have seen him moving around on the ultrasounds, and my wife has been able to feel that daily for ages, and I’ve felt a bit left out. 

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A bit from the husband today:

It’s heartbreaking what this pregnancy is doing to my wife. Even with the new drugs she’s just not herself. She’s existing rather than living, she’s struggling to find joy or happiness in anything. It’s really hard to watch someone I love so much going through that, partly because I feel for her and partly because I’m lonely – I miss her being herself.

I’m so proud of her for keeping herself together, and for getting back to work which is good for her even though it’s a struggle. I’m proud of her for writing this blog (her posts nearly always have me tearing up), and for winning the biggest contract of her self employed career at one of the most difficult times in her life.

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A bit from the husband today:

Sitting in the hospital a week ago today I saw my baby on ultrasound for the first time, and watched a tiny heartbeat. I cried with happiness and relief. I wish I could have bottled that feeling!

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The husband had some more things to say today…

Being in the “2 week wait” is always a bit of a limbo. There’s nothing more to do – we just have to wait for the pregnancy test.

I’m coping with this one less well than the last two times.

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So very conveniently my monthly infertility counselling session coincided with my embryo transfer day. That’s handy, just one trip required. And even better, the husband was free today so he decided to chum me to the embryo transfer – and go early and work on his laptop in the hospital coffee shop so that he could give me a lift.

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A bit from the husband today…

“I haven’t written anything for BabyMaybe for a while. My wife is so eloquent, and so thorough, it doesn’t leave me a lot to say. There are some things though that I should try to share.

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A few of my friends got a hole in one with their babies – they conceived first go, or within a small handful of months.

It’s a weird thought, in terms of elapsed time the changes that have happened in their lives compared to ours.

For us, after nearly four years we’re still waiting.

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“Offer IVF treatment to women with unexplained infertility who have not conceived after 2 years.” (NICE Guidelines, Assessment and treatment for people with fertility problems)

“Couples who experience problems in conceiving should be seen together because both partners are affected by decisions surrounding investigation and treatment.” (NICE Guidelines, Assessment and treatment for people with fertility problems)

I wrote a bit the other day about how our IVF clinic presents what they do as female-centric and functional, and how the husband and I have absorbed that. I’ve been going to the appointments and so on without the husband for the most part, and this seems to be the norm at our clinic.

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Something I forgot to say is that I didn’t bring the husband along to the frozen embryo transfer. He didn’t come the first time either. He was welcome, and the nurse had put scrubs out for him, but neither of us was that bothered either way about him coming.

Does that sound cold?

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