Archives for posts with tag: Coping mechanisms


I have been feeling very tired these last few days, very heavy and sleepy. The husband went to the pub last night and I was asleep when he came home. That never ever happens, usually I am an extreme night owl and there’s no way I’d be asleep before midnight.

I also feel just on the edge of sick.

And I have a runny nose.

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I’m a keen scuba diver, and diving is something that is an extremely relaxing hobby for me.

However, it is the sort of hobby that you have to have a certain level of health to do and (generally) you have to plan for.  To go on trips and holidays and so on demands committing your time and money often weeks or months in advance.

I’ve not dived since November last year.  As you know I have been doing IVF fairly solidly for all of 2013 so this has got in the way of my diving.

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As I’m now undertaking my third attempt at IVF within a calendar year I’ve been thinking about how IVF and work fit together.

A lot of women work when they are doing IVF.  Not all of course, I have heard of plenty who have never worked or who give up work to try and get pregnant.  But the IVF clinic has everything set up to be convenient for working women.  The vast majority of the appointments are between 8am and 9.30am with the intention of women being able to drop in before they go to the office.

I’m a self employed consultant, I work mainly from home on short term overlapping contracts.  It is a strategic job and I am experienced, so I would be pretty high up if I was doing the same thing in a bigger company.  In many ways this is a great way to live my life.  I love my job, I’m in control of my own destiny, I can work as much or little as I want, and should I be lucky enough to have a baby I will be able to ramp the work up and down to suit my childcare needs.

But how does this fit in with IVF?

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Counselling has come around again.

On the whole I’m feeling normal – or maybe even good – so no desperate need for the counselling, but I do think it helps to keep me on track to have this specialist service each month.

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So far, every time I have started IVF I have got a cold. Yes, third time and I have a cold now.

I’ve found in the past that I’ve always got sick at the start of my holidays, like I’ve chilled out and let my guard down and the sickness creeps in. I’m nearly always sick at Christmas.

Contrary to most people’s expectations I imagine, I think IVF is the same for me. It is a massive relief to get started on it. I’m terrible at waiting and it feels great not to be waiting anymore. Even this time when the waiting was limited and it went alright, it is still nice to see some action. So, yeah, obviously that means sickness has crept in.

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I had my infertility counselling session today, as usual notable for being an inconvenient half day out of the office due to being mid morning and more than an hour away from my house. Which is an even worse journey during Edinburgh Festival Fringe time.

Second time with the legend that is my new counsellor. I was glad to see her again as my existing counsellor is winding down to a bit of time off work, plus the new counsellor has in one session totally sorted my head out around my feelings of failure and I’ve not felt so good in a long time.

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This weekend I’ve been away at the Rewind 80s music festival.  I went completely off-grid for four days.  It was awesome.  I’ve been glad to have this in my diary to look forward to and that has helped me stay positive and get through the last negative result and get on with normal life.

I am finding things fine at the moment and am expecting to be able to check in for my next cycle within the week.

But I’m not one for counting my blessings.  Sorry, it’s not my way. 

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I was pulled up on stage at an Edinburgh Festival Fringe event today, to take part in a silly game.  Which I won.  Hurrah!  But in front of everyone, before the game started, the performer asked ‘are any of you pregnant?’  And I of course had to say no.

There’s no getting away from my lack of pregnancy.

It is a very public thing.

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Don’t dream it, be it (Don’t dream it be it, The Rocky Horror Show)

Counselling today. I didn’t feel I ‘needed’ it, I’m coping fine with the negative pregnancy test result, but I suspect that some of the reason that I am coping is down to having had this appointment in place.

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A bit from the husband today…

“I haven’t written anything for BabyMaybe for a while. My wife is so eloquent, and so thorough, it doesn’t leave me a lot to say. There are some things though that I should try to share.

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