Archives for posts with tag: ‘Coming out’ as infertile


I was at a black tie dinner last night and due to little Kipling being within me I had to stay off the booze.  I got away with it for a bit drinking some pink juice they were handing out that looked like rose wine, but it because conspicuous when I refused ‘red or white’ at the table. My friend questioned me, and I revealed all to her.

So there’s progress, I didn’t mind talking about IVF to her and answering her questions.  She was so kind and protective of my feelings, and I was interested to note that I didn’t really need that.  These days I can be matter of fact about IVF.  I could also see in her eyes how awful she felt for me, and I realised that I didn’t feel as bad myself as she felt on my behalf.  That was a bit of a revelation!

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A bit from the husband today…

“I haven’t written anything for BabyMaybe for a while. My wife is so eloquent, and so thorough, it doesn’t leave me a lot to say. There are some things though that I should try to share.

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Something that probably doesn’t come across adequately in this journal is how ordinary my life is 95% of the time.

I’m happily married. I run my own business. I go to the cinema, go to the theatre, go away for the weekend, go out for lunch or dinner. I have chats, I have laughs, I have friends.

Most of the people that I enjoy these good times with don’t know about my infertility or my IVF.

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I find Facebook to be a huge pain in the ass infertility-wise, and from my fertility counsellor I know this to be a common issue for infertile people. Facebook is chock-full of 12 week scans and mummy memes and hilarious and touching tales of the exploits of the young children of my friends. But as I’ve talked about before, there’s nothing to be done but to man up and get on with it otherwise I’d be friendless as well as babyless. At least I get to choose my Facebook friends, and the things that I sign up to see on my feed.

Or do I?

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I don’t wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all…. (Abba)

The issue of what you tell people about IVF, and when, is a strange one.

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I am due to start the IVF drugs on Wednesday, so this may be the last alcoholic drink I have in a while. A long time if the IVF works and I’m pregnant.

A couple of things to report in the meantime.

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