Archives for posts with tag: Antenatal depression

2014-04-16

All I’ve ever heard from friends who are pregnant is pregnancy is not an illness, and don’t treat them differently because they are pregnant.  Invite them to stuff, expect them to join in.  Expect them to work.  Expect them to exercise.  All I have seen is people achieve this.

I cannot achieve this.  Pregnancy is not an illness.  But I am certainly ill and pregnancy is the direct cause of my illness.

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2014-04-01

It felt like a long afternoon at obstetric triage today getting monitored, largely owing to a 1hr45m wait in the waiting room before I even got seen. I was so tired and uncomfortable waiting, and just wanted to lie down on the floor and sleep.

Just felt so low and exhausted. The husband sent me along with instructions to tell the midwife this, which I did. She was very kind.

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2014-03-31

The husband and I had a night away in a lovely hotel, and whilst Saturday went really well I was completely wiped out on Sunday. When we got home I had a two hour nap then went to bed early and slept for another twelve hours or so.

When I woke up at lunchtime I had to be prized and cajoled out of bed by the husband. I just felt so tired, and low. I didn’t want to go to work. After managing a couple of hours the husband re-evaluated me and politely suggested I take the day off sick.

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2014-03-16

Kipling and I have reached 24 weeks together, which feels fantastic.  Kip is now a foot long and weighs a pound, and if necessary he could survive outside me.  I’m looking to keep him in for a good while yet, but this feels like a milestone.

He’s moving about quite a bit, I feel him having a good wriggle about maybe once every hour or two.  Every time it makes me smile.

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2014-02-26

Progress with the swimming yesterday, and progress with the eating out today.

Met some friends for dinner at a restaurant for the first time in about three months. We ate dinner. It went fine.

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2014-02-07

I had an extra midwife appointment today, to check up on me because I’d been ill.

Happily I am now feeling reasonably well – certainly adequately medicated and less depressed – so the appointment was brief and straightforward. I communicated this, everyone was pleased, all good.

The husband came along with me, but that’s probably the last time he’ll come to routine appointments for now as I can manage by myself and they are indeed now routine.

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2014-02-06

Today was my weekly counselling session.

Although I wouldn’t say I currently have depression I really do feel the benefit of ‘debriefing’ all of this unpleasant nausea situation with someone who spends an hour actually listening to me.

We talked about a few things.

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2014-01-30

I had a 9.30am GP check up this morning. That might seem like no probs to most people, but at the moment I’m sleeping about 11 hours per day so that is a bit earlier than I’d prefer. We’d set this time as the husband had thought he’d come along and take me in the car, but as he came to the Consultant yesterday he didn’t come to the GP today. So, first time going to a medical appointment alone in a couple of months… but it was fine. And I got a cab so as not to have to get up too early for a bus.

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2014-01-24

Yesterday I saw my new counsellor for the first time, and had a very positive first appointment. There was a bit of going over old ground due to not having met her before, but she seemed to get me and the issue. Some interesting stuff in there about being given ‘permission to be ill’ in that because it has been so hard to be taken seriously and because I have not needed to be signed off work due to being self-employed there is no-one giving me ‘permission’. My illness has become all my responsibility. Which makes me feel unsafe. Plus as it has been such a struggle to get anywhere I have lost confidence in my ability to judge whether I am ill or not and I either worry I might be making it up or blame myself for not explaining things well enough. Plenty of stuff to be mulling over, and more next week.

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2014-01-16

Got an appointment for a counselling session today (next week) and an appointment for the 20 week scan (13th Feb).  So that’s all good.

Had to go into the GP surgery again today for the GP to check on me.  The husband came along again, and this time there was a student observing the session.  I explained to the GP that this drug combo was the best so far, but that I was having some unpredictable bouts of nausea.  I said I was working a couple of hours a day and the GP was pleased.  I tried to explain that this was difficult, and unpredictable, and disappointing so not entirely a good thing.  Certainly not what I’d hoped for by this point.

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