Archives for category: Between IVFs (1)


After the last IVF I got a letter telling me to call the IVF clinic to book in for my next go when I got my period in May.

As an infertile person, it’s not often that getting your period is a good thing but when it leads to action it doesn’t feel so bad.

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But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame… (I dreamed a dream, Les Miserables)

Last night I dreamed that my friend was pregnant, and that she was very sick. Vomiting, fever, we had to call an ambulance. When I woke up I was horrified with myself. Did my subconscious want pregnant people to die?

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You might recall that I have been lucky enough to get free specialist fertility counselling at the IVF clinic, and that they are really flexible about how the service is used.

I last went along a week or so after our failed IVF, and then made an appointment for four weeks later. Which was today! Actually time has flown, which is great. 

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I feel infertile again today.

Which means I must have stopped for a while whilst I was in the ‘person doing IVF’ mindset.

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I’m all about evaluation, and I thought it might be interesting to generate some stats and reflections on my first IVF cycle.

(By the way, I’m still taking these money draining daily kick in the teeth folic acid tablets…)

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I don’t wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all…. (Abba)

The issue of what you tell people about IVF, and when, is a strange one.

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We had a couple of letters from the IVF clinic this week, within a day of one another (which seemed weird, they could have just sent one?). The first one gave us a summary of our last failed IVF attempt, and the second one confirmed that we could have another go in June if we wanted to.

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Yesterday the IVF clinic gave me a ring to say that a counselling slot had become available today. Hurray! Only two weeks after I wanted one…

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I feel pretty rough with a cough at the moment. I don’t know whether it is one of those things where you let your defences down and the germs get in – you know, like the first day of the Christmas holidays?

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A really good thing about the IVF clinic I go to is that they offer free specialist counselling to any individual or couple going through the IVF process. I’ve not mentioned this as I have not had it while I’ve been blipping, but I have used the service. Way back last November the husband and I were deciding whether to jump the queue by paying for IVF (loooong story) and we went to the counsellor to help us make that decision, then I went along another couple of times by myself to have a talk though my feelings about infertility to date. By December we were all booked in for treatment after Christmas and I felt really positive, so I didn’t go again. As I said to the counsellor at the time I felt like I’d established the relationship so that I knew I could come along if I needed it. Actually doing the IVF was fine, I didn’t need the counselling support during that, so it has been a while since I went.

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