2013-11-20

I must say the antihistamine drugs have made a big difference and I now feel less sick.  A manageable amount of sick.  But very veeeeeeeeeeeeery tired.  I even had a nap on Monday afternoon.  That never happens.  I gave myself Monday and Tuesday off work and spent them in bed.  Today I have done a few hours in the office, and tried walking round the block.  Went OK.

I want to emphasise that this is rough though, and continues to be rough.  I hate it.  But it is worth it and I am determined to do my best to incubate Kipling as well as I can.

I have mentioned in passing that I waited until I was 30 to start trying for a baby, which is four years after I was married.  This was all about me being prepared to do something that is a massive big deal and hugely disruptive, without resenting it.  I wanted to feel financially secure, I wanted to be willing to step out of my career for a bit.  And based on my past experience of hormones, I was anticipating pregnancy (for me) to be bloody awful.  I didn’t start trying to conceive until I was prepared to man up to those things.

Well so far pregnancy is indeed bloody awful.  But I am in a place, personally, where I am prepared to sacrifice myself and do something bloody awful for a positive future outcome.  And I don’t resent it, especially after the added effort of all of the years of infertility and rounds of IVF.  I am immensely grateful to be doing this and I’m going to give it my best shot.

I still hate it though.

In other news, NHS Lothian sent us by post a packet of information about having a baby.  Some sheets explaining the upcoming appointments and other relevant issues, and a booklet about screening.

It looks to me like the only immediate action required is to get a flu jab, and to consider whether to have some of the more invasive screening which can have a 2/100 risk of miscarriage.  I will talk to the husband about this, although my view is to avoid the invasive screening as I don’t think the result would make me want to terminate the pregnancy so no point in taking the risk.

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