2013-10-29

Well fate can have a strange idea about how things should go.

After a positive pregnancy test on Sunday I spent a day grinning to myself and feeling excited and hopeful.

And then on Monday my Dad died. It was very sudden, a complete surprise. Quick for him thankfully, but for us very unexpected.

I went home to my Mum, and we did what we had to do.

My blood test to officially confirm pregnancy was due to be on Monday and I had to cancel it due to a work thing. It was rearranged for Wednesday. Well I didn’t know how long I’d be with my Mum down in England so I called and cancelled the Wednesday appointment. The clinic were understanding, but want me to get tested as soon as I can. I’d run out of drugs, so I also had to get the husband to drop in to the clinic and get some for me and bring them down.

Although my Mum knows I’m in an IVF cycle so far I’ve not told her I’m probably pregnant or that I was due to have a test. It didn’t seem like the time, and as it is not yet official if it doesn’t turn out well I’d rather she hadn’t had the false hope.

It is such a shame my Dad will never know.

I have spent the past few days saying ‘I can’t believe it’. I can’t believe I’m probably pregnant, and I can’t believe my Dad has died.

It feels like a lot, all at the same time.

By this point Sunday seemed like a lifetime ago, and somehow I didn’t believe that I could still be pregnant. So I took another test. It came up positive within seconds. Fingers are still crossed.

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