I had an appointment for an internal scan today at 9am to see whether the first part of the IVF process had worked.

The husband was working in town at 10am and needed to drive there, and he very kindly offered to go a bit early to drive me to the clinic.  This meant that I could have an extra half hour in bed, and that he would be able to attend the appointment, and that then he could drop me in town for a swift journey home for me.  This would be the first time he came to a routine appointment so that seemed like a really good opportunity for him to see what it is all about.

So we got there at 9am and waited in the waiting room.  And waited.  And waited.  At 9.35am the husband had to bail because he needed to get to his meeting.  And I waited a bit more.  I was finally seen at 10am.  Because they were ‘busy’.

I was taken into the consulting room and undressed from the waist down as usual, then found there was no cover there to protect my modesty.  I jumped up into the stirrups and covered myself with my cardie which the nurse – embarrassed – replaced with a towel when she came in.

They checked my date of birth, and whether my period had started (yes), and when (Saturday), and whether it had now finished (yes).

The doctor then lubed up the scanning device and stuck it up there for a look at my womb lining.  They are looking for a thin one, and I suspected it would be thin because of the bloodbath that was last week.  It measured at 2.something.  I think she said 2.3.  Plenty skinny anyway, they are looking for less than 4mm and the last times it had been 3.4mm and 3.6mm.  So all good.

On to stage two.  HRT.

I had some HRT tablets left over from last time (about three weeks’ worth) and I had thought it might be a good idea to take these rather than getting some new ones in order to save the NHS’s resources.  The doctor and nurse looked at me a bit funny when I suggested this, and said I could if I wanted but that they would give me some new ones anyway.

They then suggested I empty my bladder (Was it full?  Really?  After an hour in the waiting room not wanting to leave in case I missed my slot!) so I went to the ladies.

When I came out into the corridor another nurse was looking for me, wondering where I had gone.  She put a box of drugs in my hand, said ‘come back on the 11th’ and went to leave, so I asked ‘any particular time?’  Between 8am and 9am apparently – yeah, like today?  She went to leave again and I rattled the box and said ‘is it three each day?’ and she said yes.

I have to say I wasn’t hugely satisfied with my corridor-based nurse appointment.  I guess on cycle three I’m supposed to know everything (although this is months after last time, plus a different drug protocol, and the dose is never what it says on the leaflet) plus they certainly don’t offer too much in the way of information unless pushed so they probably didn’t think it mattered.  But I personally value the nurse appointment as an opportunity to ask questions and raise concerns and I didn’t get that today.

When I was on the bus, I realised that I had not asked the one thing I had wanted to ask today (can I go in a hot tub?) so that was frustrating too.

Things got on top of me around lunchtime.  I had another couple of things in my personal life come together to piss me right off and coupled with the borderline experience at the clinic this morning I could just not be arsed with it all.  I went to bed and had a little cry for ten minutes.

Then I went back to my desk to face the day.