Today is my 34th birthday.

Four years ago today – on my 30th birthday – the husband and I started trying for a baby.

I would never have guessed that four years later we’d still be trying.

I would absolutely not have guessed that four years later I’d be on my third try at IVF. In fact I’d have bet money against me ever doing IVF at all.

And yet here we are.

Four years of infertility.

It has been hard.

The middle two years were probably the hardest (so far), acknowledging and dealing with infertility and having no route to doing anything about it.

Doing IVF this year has been… alright. Better than what went before anyway.

I hope that four years from now we will have a child. It is possible that we will have a three year old child, that this IVF cycle is going to be the one. It is also possible that we will have given up on this dream. Either way, we’ll have had to move on. I look forward to that.