Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky
Maybe this time, he’ll stay
Maybe this time
For the first time
Love won’t hurry away

All the odds are in my favour
Something’s bound to begin
It’s got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I’ll win… (Maybe this time, Cabaret)

Today was the day of the frozen embryo transfer, and I can happily report that Puffling is safely within me now. All went well. It was quick – I was about 45 minutes from arriving to leaving.

My appointment was at 11.30am meaning it wasn’t the usual hideously early start, so I packed my PJs and my bag of sharps and old medication, and I headed off just after 10am. I was to go with a full bladder, so the last time I was able to go to the toilet was before I left. The old bladder was pretty full by the time of the procedure. This was commented on. I know it was less full than last time. Gulp.

So I arrived about ten minutes early and was taken in about ten minutes late which gave me time to read a celebrity magazine in the waiting room. I was in a good mood and looking forward to it.

Soon I was taken through to the ward where they do the egg retrievals and embryo transfers, and I was the only one there. I was given a bed with the curtains pulled round and got into my PJs then they gave me some plastic shoes and I walked across to the room where they would do the transfer.

I got up onto the bed and took off the PJ bottoms whilst they covered my modesty. I told them I really didn’t care as someone was about to spend fifteen minutes down that end, but they seemed to prefer to hold the towel up. Having done this before I knew it would be better to have a nightdress so they could just pull it up and as I didn’t have one I thought about getting one in Primark. Then I thought that was a waste of money and making the investment (!) was like admitting I thought I might need to be back in again for another go, so I didn’t bother.

The nurse, doctor and embryologist cross-checked my name and date of birth, then confirmed that the first embryo had thawed so that is great, I still have six on ice. It is actually a blastocyst of quality 2AA. AA means it is a tip top quality blastocyst with tightly packed and well ordered cells. The blastocyst was a 5AA when they froze it which means it was well expanded, but it has shrunk to a 2AA during the thaw which is normal as they need to get all the icicles out of it. The embryologists said this blastocyst was very good, better than the one they used last time, and it was the ‘AA’ that was the important part. She seemed very positive.

By this point I was lying on the bed, in stirrups, covered in green cloths, and then the doctor stuck a speculum *up there*. They can’t use lube which I remember being pretty uncomfortable last time, but it was fine this time. Either because I was prepared, or perhaps because I wasn’t plagued with thrush. The doctor did a test transfer, which went fine, then the embryologist then brought in the blastocyst and the doctor squirted it up there.

I was able to see the blastocyst on a screen before they put it in, and the nurse used an ultrasound scanner over my tummy to show a picture of my insides and I could watch what was going on. There wasn’t really much to see but it was kinda cool.

Overall it was painless and I only had a doctor’s fingers up me for five or ten minutes, but it was slightly uncomfortable having a full bladder and having two people poking me about at the same time.

After that was done I got my PJs back on, stood up and walked straight to the toilet (relief!), then I went back to the ward and got dressed.

The nurse then returned to do the admin. I gave her my bag of sharps and medication then she gave me a couple more weeks worth of drugs and said that the counsellor had left a note apologising for cancelling my last appointment. However, the counselling diary wasn’t available so I was not able to make a new appointment. The nurse said she would call me when the diary was returned to the front desk.

The nurse then gave me a date to come in for the pregnancy test – 29th July. I said that seemed like a long time away. She gave me a long spiel about how it should done on day nine which was the Saturday but it would need to be the following Monday as they don’t test at the weekend (something about staffing levels and women fainting). I said I had expected that to be the case, but that the date she had given me was two and a half weeks away. At first she disagreed. But she was wrong. She gave me another date, the 22nd July. I had anticipated this date and had considered it in advance, and decided it was inconvenient. I asked if I could come in on 23rd which I think was a surprising development for the nurse. Probably no-one had ever asked to delay their pregnancy test before.

The thing is, I am booked in to run a masterclass on 22nd July and I could really do without having the whole test day on the same day as that. Even if it is good news, it is a stressful day. By far the worst day of the whole IVF thing in my experience, as I’m very bad with waiting and the wait between the early morning blood test and phoning in the afternoon for the result is awful. In fact, just phoning for the results is awful. It is funny, in my life I had only ever run two masterclasses. The last one was on the day of the pregnancy test last time. I manned up and did it anyway, but vowed to have a clear day for the test this time. Both of these masterclasses had been in my diary for ages with dates confirmed and people invited, but IVF is very unpredictable and it is simply unlucky that the test coincides with one of my very few fixed points. Anyway, before I went along today I’d decided that I’d not be cancelling the masterclass if the test turned out to be 22nd, and that instead I’d rather take the test what amounts to three days late.

Last time my period started on the evening of test day. I think (we’ll see) that I’d rather find out organically that I’m not pregnant instead of having to go through the whole test day and phone call again, so I’m thinking if I’m still period-free by 23rd maybe that will be a good sign pregnancy-wise. And if not, well I can have my sad time over the weekend and the test day will just be a formality. Hopefully it will be good news though.

I’m spending the day at home, working a bit but nothing too hard core. I’m not going to a networking event, or a drink at a bar, or a beer festival tonight. So many options that I have turned down to stay rested.

Overall I’m ever so pleased to be ‘pregnant until proved otherwise’ – it is a good feeling. I keep forgetting, then remembering, which is actually awesome. Having never had a positive pregnancy test this is the most pregnant I have ever known I have been, so I’m appreciating it for what it is.