So after a 56 day hiatus I had my first appointment at the clinic for our second IVF cycle today. This one will be a frozen embryo transfer, as we have some embryos ready made from last time so they’ll just use them rather than growing some new ones.

(How to number this? I’m going for cycle days starting today, but that’s not exactly right as it sort of starts last week with my period, or today, or when I start the drugs in a few weeks… but today is when it was all confirmed so today is day one)

The routine was not new to me.

First, strip from the waist down and protect my modesty with a towel.

Next, check my details – date of birth, date of last period, whether I’m taking folic acid.

Next, internal scan – legs in stirrups and look at my womb. The stirrups was a new thing, they’ve got a new table. My womb was pronounced to be fine, no problems with any bits of the old reproductive system.

After that, get dressed and go and wait in a consulting room. For aaaaaages, I thought I’d been forgotten.

Blood pressure taken, no problems there.

I was then issued with my bag of drugs and some forms to sign, and told when to start taking the drugs and when to come back which will be towards the end of June.

Here’s how it will work. From day 22 of my cycle (in a couple of weeks) I will take drugs to down regulate my cycle and mimic the menopause. After a couple of weeks of this I will take some progesterone to prepare my womb lining to receive an embryo. After a couple of weeks of this they will chuck in one of my frozen embryos (after thawing it of course!) and then we will wait and see if it sticks. So like last time there’s a bit of waiting at the start, followed by a six week process. It’ll be the end of July when we know if it worked. Funny, I had thought doing it this way would be quicker. Shame it isn’t, but it is certainly less invasive as I do not have to grow my ovaries to the size of grapefruits then have my eggs sooked out with a big needle under sedation.

It turns out I had a decision to make this time. It seems you can choose how to down regulate your cycle now which is new since a couple of months back! I could either take daily self-administered injections for two weeks, or come in for one single injection which does the same job and is equally effective. Guess which I chose…

Nope, you’re probably wrong. I chose the daily self-administered injections for two weeks. Several reasons. Firstly, it is not at all handy for me to go into the hospital. Secondly, I’ve had the injections before and know that I had no problem doing it and it really didn’t hurt and I had very limited side effects – so better the devil you know. Thirdly, it gives me something positive to do – if I just take one injection then it’s another five weeks or so of inaction from me and that will drive me mad.

Ideally at this stage I thought I would feel hopeful again, but I don’t. With a success rate of something like 20% this frozen embryo transfer does not feel like a good bet for a win. Sure, over time and with a few goes it’s worth a try and it looks like we’ll get to do that if we want to or need to. But yet again the whole sorry process is just spinning out in front of me with no end in sight.

Or… maybe we’ll get lucky. People do.