Archives for the month of: May, 2013


Oh, the places I would like to show you
Although I hardly know you
I’ve a funny feeling we make a perfect pair
Famous sites I want to see you seeing
Then nights of you and me
We… (What Do I Need With Love? Thoroughly Modern Millie)

My biological clock is not ticking.

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On 27th March we found out that our first attempt at IVF had not worked and three weeks later the clinic wrote to us and offered us an appointment with a Consultant to discuss our treatment options. Well our appointment finally came around today, two months after the negative pregnancy test and almost a week after we started our second cycle of IVF treatment. I must admit the husband and I found this quite unsatisfactory, as we had no clear answers about why the first go had not worked or what our chances of success were based on the progress to date, and we felt a bit abandoned by the system.

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So after a 56 day hiatus I had my first appointment at the clinic for our second IVF cycle today. This one will be a frozen embryo transfer, as we have some embryos ready made from last time so they’ll just use them rather than growing some new ones.

(How to number this? I’m going for cycle days starting today, but that’s not exactly right as it sort of starts last week with my period, or today, or when I start the drugs in a few weeks… but today is when it was all confirmed so today is day one)

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After the last IVF I got a letter telling me to call the IVF clinic to book in for my next go when I got my period in May.

As an infertile person, it’s not often that getting your period is a good thing but when it leads to action it doesn’t feel so bad.

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But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame… (I dreamed a dream, Les Miserables)

Last night I dreamed that my friend was pregnant, and that she was very sick. Vomiting, fever, we had to call an ambulance. When I woke up I was horrified with myself. Did my subconscious want pregnant people to die?

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You might recall that I have been lucky enough to get free specialist fertility counselling at the IVF clinic, and that they are really flexible about how the service is used.

I last went along a week or so after our failed IVF, and then made an appointment for four weeks later. Which was today! Actually time has flown, which is great. 

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I feel infertile again today.

Which means I must have stopped for a while whilst I was in the ‘person doing IVF’ mindset.

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I’m all about evaluation, and I thought it might be interesting to generate some stats and reflections on my first IVF cycle.

(By the way, I’m still taking these money draining daily kick in the teeth folic acid tablets…)

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