Archives for the month of: March, 2013


A really good thing about the IVF clinic I go to is that they offer free specialist counselling to any individual or couple going through the IVF process. I’ve not mentioned this as I have not had it while I’ve been blipping, but I have used the service. Way back last November the husband and I were deciding whether to jump the queue by paying for IVF (loooong story) and we went to the counsellor to help us make that decision, then I went along another couple of times by myself to have a talk though my feelings about infertility to date. By December we were all booked in for treatment after Christmas and I felt really positive, so I didn’t go again. As I said to the counsellor at the time I felt like I’d established the relationship so that I knew I could come along if I needed it. Actually doing the IVF was fine, I didn’t need the counselling support during that, so it has been a while since I went.

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After finding out I wasn’t pregnant yesterday I expected to stop the drugs and start my period a few days after, but in fact my period started last night. Maybe it is just my scheduled period – I think it is a couple of days late but really who knows with all of the artificial hormones in my system. Given it started whilst I was technically still on the progesterone though I do wonder if that means I was pregnant, and then stopped being pregnant. But it is hard to say and it maybe doesn’t matter anyway.

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6.45am – Wake up feeling nervous. There is a silent whiteness about the place so I know it has snowed overnight. Thus think I’d better get my ass into gear and set off for the hospital in case of any public transport disruption.

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Tomorrow is the big day. Sort of. Well the husband and I can’t decide how big the day is.

Tomorrow I go in to the clinic for a blood test (as I have done a squillion times before) and phone in later for the results (as I have done a squillion times before). The difference is that tomorrow they will confirm whether I am pregnant or not. It might be a no. Or it might be a yes.

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Two things of note to tell you about today.

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So I’m in the bit now where we just have to sit and wait and see if I am pregnant. There’s nothing to be done other than take these progesterone pessaries and then go in for a blood test on Wednesday. The wait is interminable. After so long of having lots of things to do to (injections, appointments, scans) it is uncomfortable doing nothing. It is just in the back of my mind all of the time. I’m not stressed as such, just more I want it to be over with. I think as Wednesday gets nearer it’ll get harder. At this point I’m worried that every time I go to the toilet I will find my period has started – but as long as it hasn’t, that’s a good sign.

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This is the progesterone drug I’m on now, instead of the one I blipped the other day. As the other one made me feel rough, the nurse kindly gave me something else when I went in for my embryo transfer.

So this one is taken twice a day, and it is a pessary. I can decide where I insert the pessary. Would it be too much information if I told you the route I had chosen?

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Today you have a wee piece from the husband again, on how he feels now that the chosen one is safely within me.

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Well the chosen one is within me.

My appointment for the embryo transfer was at 12.30pm today. I was a bit nervous but I managed to get a couple of hours work done, then I headed off on the bus with a bottle of water in hand because a full bladder was required. It turns out this is a good time to travel, as I left the same amount of time as usual and arrived 25 minutes early for my appointment. This meant I had to sit in the waiting room for half an hour desperately trying to resist the urge to go to the toilet.

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Blee. I feel a bit rough on this progesterone. I feel tired and a bit sick with sore boobs. And, possibly, thrush (sorry, gross). They say the progesterone drug mimics the symptoms of early pregnancy, so hopefully I have more of the same to look forward to. Gah.

I intend to spend the day feeling sorry for myself, then do the embryo transfer tomorrow, then try and get my shit together.

The husband is being extremely sweet – he went out and got me what I wanted for lunch, then he made me some jelly, and then he gave me this wee chocolate chick as a surprise to cheer me up.