Today I went in for my first IVF appointment. Of course, this isn’t my actual first appointment relating to this issue as I must have had six appointments at the fertility clinic already. But here we are within the process of getting the thing done.

It was all rather short notice as I mentioned yesterday, so I hadn’t had time to think about what it might involve.

First thing was a scan to look at the womb and ovaries to check all is well (I was pronounced ‘normal’) followed by a ‘dummy embryo transfer’. Now that sounds utterly horrifying, but actually the scan and transfer took no more than 15 minutes in total and it was entirely free from pain. It was like a smear test, but they put a catheter into your womb which they would use to squirt an egg in there. This is just to check there will be no problems on the day when they have an actual fertilised egg in their hands. All was fine, no issues identified. What was a bit odd was that they turned all the main lights off and did the procedure with me lying on a bed and a large spotlight shining into my ladies area. It was a bit like they were making a ‘specialist interest’ film…

Next the nurse gave me piles of drugs and showed me how to use them. I will have to inject myself every day. I’m not scared of needles, but I’m not sure how easy it will be to actually stick one in myself! I believe this will be bringing on a ‘rapid menopause’ after which they will be ‘taking control of my reproductive system’. Eek.

I got a plastic bag with three bottles of drugs, 60 needles (30 long, 30 short), 30 syringes and a sharps box to take away. Which will be a little inconvenient to cart around town this afternoon I must say!

What surprised me is that I was excited. Yes, obviously concerned that the drugs would make me ill, but the main emotion was excited. It was been such a long time getting here that I’m really pleased to be trying a new approach and positive that I’m going to give it a proper go. I’m hoping I can keep the excitement up throughout it, and stave off the doom and gloom and fear and worry that it won’t work for as long as possible. I suspect that will come when they’ve put the eggs in and then it’ll just be a waiting game. Or sooner if the drugs turn me into a blubbering mess.

Well it turns out I don’t need to start with the injecting for a few weeks so I’ll probably sign off for a while…